Grounded

Rating:  PG

Written:  March '00

Category:  Unresolved romantic tension and a healthy dose of angst.  (J&J also abide by the special anime laws of physics, here.  ^_~ )

Disclaimer:  The three characters in this fanfic didn't originate in my head.

Summary:  What the hey happened in Shell Shock after poor James fell off the cliff?

Author's note:  I hold a rather extreme dislike for plot holes.  Shell Shock has one you could drive a truck through.  This entire story is what I think might have happened between James' fall and Team Rocket's cave in.  I suggest you watch that eppie before you read this, 'cuz it'll make *much* more sense then.

Feedback:  I'm starved for email!  Don't you love me anymore?!   RocketJesseRose@aol.com.

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Grounded

          by Rocket Jesse

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"This is gonna hurt!" he yells more out of annoyance than fear.  He knows he'll survive the fall.

I stare after him until he disappears into the blackness of the canyon, and even after that it's hard to pull my eyes away and come to terms with what just happened.

"Uh  Jess?" Meowth says after a minute or two.  "I hope *yer* not gonna be laggin' behind me now.  Let's get goin'!"

I rock back and rest my bum on the ground.  Of course, I know James is physically alright and everything, but I think I'm more worried about the way I've been acting towards him.  His attitude had been so ferocious on the sub and when we were talking about the backpack  He surprised me, to say the least.

"Jesse!"

"What is it, Meowth?" I inquire, turning to look at him.

"Let's get goin'!  James'll meet up wit us at da cave, so don' worry 'bout him."  With that, he marches off down the dirt path, expecting me to follow.

Yeah right.

I slip my gloves off so I can remove my white uniform jacket.  The gloves fall over the edge of the cliff, but I pay them no mind; I just tie the neck of my jacket shut, grab onto the long sleeves and jump off.

According to the laws of physics, a jacket like mine should not be able to double as a parachute.

Then again, according to the laws of physics, my hair shouldn't be able to retain its attractive shape.  What can I say?  I guess science doesn't apply in real life.

It seems to take forever to float down to the ground.  It's such a long drop  I hope James is okay.

As soon as he comes into sight, I shout out to him.  "James?"

He doesn't hear me.

It's getting darker; the walls of this gorge sure block a lot of sun but I *can* see James more clearly.  He's lying on his stomach in a hole the exact shape of his body next to the offending boulder, not moving a muscle.

At least it didn't land on him.

"James?" I cry again.

Soon, I'm just a few feet off the ground, so I let go of my jacket and hop right over to the side of the shallow hole.  "James?" I ask once more, with little volume and more care than I usually like to show.

Still as a rock.  Otherwise, he looks fine.

I sigh.  The least I can do is remove that giant backpack and haul him out of the hole.

Wow, this bag *is* heavy.  I try it out on my back, just to test the weight.  My knees buckle after ten seconds.

After setting it aside, I plant my feet on either side of the small pit and wrap my arms around his torso, strenuously lifting him out of his little rut and onto the dirt next to it.  Keeping both arms tight around his body, I kneel down right by him and lean over until my head is on his shoulder-- just so I can roll him onto his back.

Well, okay, maybe not *just* to roll him over...  He smells really nice.  It's my favorite cologne, mixed with James' own lovely natural scent.  Before I know it, I'm resting my cheek right on top of his.

I hope he doesn't wake up while I'm practically on top of him like this

Blinking, I snap out of it, smoothly rolling James over and placing my hands on his chest for no good reason.  I guess I just like his muscles

My stomach chirps, desperately begging for nourishment.  I take my hands off of him, pulling the insanely huge backpack to my side.  There must be *something* to eat in here.  Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if all it contains is food.

Well, what do ya know  I reach in and pull out two massive picnic baskets brimming with goodies.  The first basket is covered by a blue cloth; the other has a red one.  On a hunch, I reach back in and find a smaller basket covered with a yellow cloth.

He was going to surprise us with a picnic.

I immediately feel guilt beginning to build within me.  I'd yelled at him for bringing all this food just for us now I see why he'd been so irritated before.  Extreme under-appreciation.

"Oh, James," I murmur, giving his hand a quick squeeze.  "I'm so sorry"

As expected, he shows no response.

My stomach yowls at me again.  It feels like it's trying to digest itself.

I do the only thing I can do in this situation; I dig into my picnic basket and pork out.

Each piece of food I swallow is better than the last; James must've made this entire meal himself.  All my favorites are in here:  a fresh Caesar salad, classic French bread, Fettuccini Alfredo and even a good old patented James-style peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I smile when I sink my teeth into that one-- he even remembered to use chunky instead of creamy.

Once the sandwich is finished off, I sneak a glance at James.  He's still sleeping.  When I look back at the desserts in the basket, I suddenly realize that I should probably wait until James wakes up to down the rest of it.  After all, he *is* the one who went to all that trouble.

I stare at the desserts for a minute and realize that *might* not work

They look *really* good.

The empty backpack catches my attention.  I wonder what else is in there.  I'm sure it'll take my mind off that chocolate éclair

With a grin, I open all the pockets on the exterior of the bag, hoping to find something interesting.

They're all empty.  I frown and peek into the biggest compartment again-- maybe I missed something.

I spot a neatly folded plain white sheet of paper.  Without a second thought, I jam my hand in and snatch it out.  I open it, seeing that the lighting is just bright enough to allow me to read.

I glance at James.

He's still sleeping.  He'll never know.

It's dated yesterday, just a short blurb in James' reckless handwriting.  Biting my lip in excitement, I begin reading.

~I hate this.~

I frown.  I was anticipating something along the lines of a sappy love confession.

~I hate losing.  I hate it and I'm going to do whatever I can to run away and quit Team Rocket.~

Oh my God  I had no idea.  I don't even know if I want to keep reading.

But I can't resist-- I see my name in this a couple of times.

~The only reason I've hung around is because of Jesse.~

Despite the frightening emotions that practically drip from this note, I can't help feeling flattered at this.  He hates everything in his life except *me.*  *I'm* what keeps him from abandoning his anguish.

~But Jesse sometimes doesn't seem to want me around.  I'm so deeply in love with her and she doesn't even like me.~

I gasp, peeking at James.  This isn't exactly the kind of love confession I'd been hoping for.  He looks so happy and serene just sleeping there how could he hold such dark thoughts?

I guess the better question is:  How could I be so negligent?  I thought he knew I at least care about him.  Not that I expected him to realize that one of the hardest things in my life is resisting kissing him and holding him and telling him how much I love him.  But it's almost painful to see that James doesn't know me well enough to pick up on any of my feelings for him.

~So if I'm putting both her and me in such a miserable situation by just being in Team Rocket, I should quit.  And that's just what I'll do.~

That's the end of the note.  It's not addressed to anyone.  It's not signed, either.  It's like a journal entry.

There's one thing I'm sure of:  I'm *not* letting him quit.  No doubt about it.

I slowly fold the note back up and replace it in the darkness of his backpack in much the same state I'd been in as I'd watched James fall from the cliff.

My eyes trail over the three baskets, and suddenly, I realize that this picnic was supposed to be his goodbye to Meowth and I.

"Never," I whisper to James.  "You're never leaving me."  I feel my reserves crumbling.  My chin collapses, I throw myself onto him, and suddenly I'm crying into his chest.

Both of my arms hold him tightly around his shoulders.  I must be soaking his tee-shirt with heavyhearted tears, but for a wonder, I don't care.  For once, crying seems worth it and it doesn't feel like I'm exposing a weakness.

I cry until I can't anymore-- until I convince myself that James *will* stay with me because I'll make him feel loved.  I'm not sure how, but I'll let him know I care.

When I'm calmed and still sprawled across him and his wet red shirt, I feel a rumble from his throat.  "Mmm"

"James?" I squeak almost nervously, bouncing back up and leaning my head closely over his.

"Ungh  Jesse?"  His eyes open lazily and the corners of his lips curl into a tiny smile.  I dont blame him-- I probably look like an angel.

"Yes, James, it's me," I tenderly say, smiling brilliantly at him.  "How are you feeling?"

He grins.  Usually I don't ask him how he is in any situation that involves cheating death.  "Fine."

I feel my cheeks grow hot-- my face is still just hovering over his.  "Good.  I I suppose you want to sit up," I stutter dumbly, becoming embarrassed at myself.

James doesn't even answer; just kind of smiles.

I lift my head away slightly, but only so I can grab his shoulders and help him to sit up.  As soon as he's up on his own, I give him a big bear hug and don't let go.  Setting my pride aside-- something I rarely *ever* do-- I confess.  "I'm really glad you're okay, James."

His nice thick arms encircle me and hold me back.  "Really?" he asks, like he's not sure if he heard me right.

"Really," I reply.  "If I didn't have you around, I don't know what I'd do."

"Yeah?  I I feel the same way, Jess."

No matter how hard I try, I can't bite down my smile, although its only observer at the moment is James' shoulder.  "I'm sorry I snapped at you before.  If you want, I'll carry the backpack up to the cave."

"I have a better idea," he murmurs right into my ear.  I *swear* that my heart skips a beat.  "Let's finish the picnic you started."

It's hard to believe he has no idea what that voice does to me  "That sounds great."  I let go of him, though I wish I didn't have to, and settle into a sitting position next to him.  Cheerfully, I latch onto his blue-covered basket with both hands and drag it to him.  Then I give him Meowth's basket, too, since he obviously won't be sharing this meal with us.

"Thanks!"

Just like that, the food is flying from the two baskets into James' mouth so quickly that I can't even see what it is he's eating.

Keeping my eyes trained on him, I start nibbling on one of the cookies from my own basket.  I don't pay any attention to its flavor, though it would taste delicious if I wasn't preoccupied.

I never knew that being so nice to James could feel so good.

Suddenly, he's done eating and on to smacking his fingers clean.  After that, he rubs his stomach in satisfaction and notices the wet spot from my tears on his chest.  He shoots me a questioning look.

"Um that's from the uh my water bottle!"  I throw the cookie back in my basket and whip out a bottle from behind my back.

"Oh, okay," he says without stopping to think about how it would have gotten from the bottle to his shirt.  His eyes wander from my face downward.  "Where's your jacket?"

Stashing the water bottle away again, I look down at my chest and realize how thin and skimpy this tank top is.

That's a good thing.

I grin and gaze back up at him.  "Over there," I say, throwing my thumb over my shoulder in its general direction.  "I used it to float down here."

Nodding, he rises, then holds his hand out for me.  I grab it so he can pull me up, too.

"James?" I distantly whisper, my hand still in his.

He brings our hands up to rest over his heart.  His other hand covers mine, too.  "Yeah?"

"You know you're my best friend, right?"

Tilting his head and smiling crookedly in that adorable way of his, he softly declares, "Yes.  And Jess?"

"Hmm?"

"You know you're *my* best friend, right?"

Treating him so sweetly was *definitely* worth it.  "Yeah"

I bring both of my hands to rest on his chest as his arms wrap around my waist.  I can feel the electricity in the air.  He just might kiss me

An incredibly loud honk scares both of us into falling on our butts, completely ruining the romance.

"Hurry up and get in da jeep!  We got fossils ta swipe!"

Both James and I glare at Meowth.  "Don't sneak up on us like that!" I demand.

"Sneak up?" Meowth says while James and I stand again.  "Dis ting don' sneak up.  I don' know how in da woild you coulda ignored it comin' down da path."

Although I'm annoyed at Meowth's apathy, I look James in the eye and firmly tell him, "We'll win this time."

He smiles eagerly and speaks with his normal spunk.  "Right.  I say we go fetch us some fossils!"

In no time, we're both dressed in full uniform again.  Just before stepping into the car, though, he dashes over to the backpack and pulls out the note.

He rips it to shreds, the torn pieces floating to the ground like snowflakes.

"What was that?" I ask innocently, pretending not to know.

"Nothing," he tells me.